Hey readers! What do you think of the article “Why Good Girls Have Become Unicorns?” and the response “from a Unicorn”.
Reposted from Elite Daily, take a look:
We live in a very strange world, a world where love is cursed by polygamy, sex has lost its value, and women have changed drastically. From once having morals and respect for themselves, girls are running around now with not a bit of dignity.
Sure, you can call it generation YOLO and women seizing the moment and just living life and having fun like they like to call it, but it just leaves me hoping I never end up with a daughter. Don’t get me wrong — I’m all about having fun: the quick sex, the quick thrill and the terrible Facebook photos that you get tagged in the next day, but there has to be some sort of a line.
For men, it’s great that these women have decided to become just like us. They’ve taken the male approach to sex and the way we treat the other gender. It is almost like they have become a mirror image of men in our love for a multitude of partners. This is great, because it cuts out a lot of the hard work that men used to have to go through to woo a woman to get what they ultimately want.
Sure, women have become independent, which is a great feat and should constantly be encouraged, but that is the positive side of women rising to power in our society. With every pro there happens to be a con, and the con here is that most of these women have completely lost all respect for themselves, and their morals along the way.
They’ve become thirsty for attention, from posting half naked photos on Instagram to having their whole lives exposed on the internet, through the course of hashtags. Then you have drugs, uppers being predominant, and many women are addicted to prescription pills to help their “anxiety.” In short, women have become easy, but they have also become broken — and eventually become undesirable because no one stays hot forever.
Sure, we men are to blame for this as well, but that is because we are idiots. It all comes down to perception. Women see us drool over that hot girl that is standing half naked in her default picture or see us go wild when we easily get the number to a hot girl we just met on the street. To a man’s perception this seems “right” because it’s exactly what we want: sex without much effort. But for women from the outside looking in, they think that this is what we want, and it skews their perception.
Good girls gone bad, the city is filled with them to paraphrase the great Jay Z. The problem is that it’s not just the city, but society as a whole. Men are to blame for this because we encourage such behavior and give these girls the attention they want when they are dressed up like complete idiots at EDM shows and when they are in their bikinis on Instagram. But women are also to blame in giving this artificial persona of what men call hot or not.
Sure I’m an assh*le who loves to take advantage of women who are willing to bang me without me having to offer too much, but at the same time, I am also a gentleman who knows how to treat a lady with respect and compassion, just like any other true lady should be treated.
The truth of the matter is that you can’t change women that are already broken, so those are the ones that men use for exactly what we want: sex with no strings attached. Because it’s easy and it’s right in front of us. But at some point in time, through the course of our lives, we are going to grow out of chasing someone that has been with everyone. Sure being a bachelor is fun and all, the stories are great, bragging to our friends is epic, but we are eventually going to want more out of a female than just sex.
That is when we want to settle down, but with a lady who has respect for herself, morals — and there isn’t one guy out there that can have a bad story to tell about her — like the time she had a threesome in a London hostel while studying abroad.
Because of the double standard that is in place between men and women, finding a girl of this nature wasn’t that hard decades ago because women actually held high standards for themselves and demanded men to treat them properly before they gave them what they wanted.
The truth of the matter nowadays is that good girls, as we like to call them, don’t really exist. They are unicorns. You are lucky if you come across one that is actually who she says she is. We sometimes even joke that our future wives are currently in Kindergarten because it is comforting to know that she is currently playing with blocks and not swinging from man to man because they sell her a good enough story. And when she’s 18, we’ll snap her right up and she’ll have no exposure to the world of dating.
Men are going to want to settle down with a good girl, a girl that is respectable and not someone that has been with everyone — as that is every man’s fear. The older you get, the more you realize that it is a fantasy and that doesn’t actually exist. When you actually meet one, you will refuse to admit she’s real anyways.
My question is what happened to a girl impressing us with her intellect and being able to hold a conversation past: do you come here often? Why has it become the standard that women have to impress men by flashing their breasts or dressing up half naked? Sure, we may seem dumb when we are chasing smuts, but when we do actually want to settle down with a female, she has to meet the standards that we have for a girl with whom we want to settle down.
Through my experiences, as well as the experiences of many other men, it’s hard to come across a good girl or a unicorn. We’re not asking for much here, just a girl that respects herself and is smart to the point where she would understand us.
But then there is the other side of the spectrum, that when we do actually find a unicorn and settle down, our ego gets a bit ahead of ourselves and we find them a bit too boring for our liking, so we decide to cheat. It’s like a double-edged sword. You realize it wasn’t getting the unicorn, but rather attracting something you thought never existed. It always is about the chase and never about the perfection of the woman. And that is the mindset of men in the 21st century.
What we look for is a lady on the street and a freak in the bed, as Ludacris once explained. The problem is that most girls are freaks everywhere, which leaves us with fewer options when trying to settle down. Unicorns are tough to find, and if you do stumble upon one, do everything in your power to hold on to her, as the chase is only fun for so long — and we do have a sense of compassion and companionship we like to share with a partner.
Those are the natural instincts of a man. Ladies, men are not going to respect you if you don’t respect yourselves. It’s that simple.
Indeed, it is a very strange world. I have just discovered my life choices have categorized me as a unicorn. I’ve never tried any illegal substances, had my first drink at 23, feel guilty for forgetting to say thank you to someone holding the door for me for days, and I’m a 24-year-old virgin.
Although I had self-esteem issues with my body when I was younger, I was never without people telling me I was pretty. Now that I’m secure in my identity, I’ve noticed a sharp uptick in overt male attention.
So why am I a unicorn? And why are there so few like me? I do agree with your assertion that women have changed, Mr. Waters. However, I contest your assertion that it’s because we’ve “lost all respect for [ourselves].”
In the bygone eras in which your only hope of gaining social status was through marriage, holding onto your chastity was not a symptom of holding yourself in high esteem. It was your only option if you didn’t want to have to sell your body for food and shelter.
In a time where we can make our own money and have the option to marry for love, we’re in the awkward transition phase of discovering our new place in the world. We don’t have to be a pious maiden or a disposable whore; we make our own destiny. It takes a while for a new normal to find itself.
In this vein, you have asserted that women have “become broken.” Women have always been broken; you’re just witnessing our messy attempts to reassemble the pieces. Our struggles were once secret and silent; you’ve only just noticed because our changing sexual habits are now affecting you and your dick.
I became aware of this article because a former male classmate of mine posted it on his Facebook page. He is, in fact, one of the “idiots” to blame for the lack of women that are “settling down material,” so to speak. He would proudly proclaim the amount of easy ladies he’s boned, but a few minutes later would complain that he couldn’t find a nice girl with substance.
In truth, he could find a nice girl, but what he fails to recognize is that nice girls don’t just respect themselves; they also respect other women. I don’t care how much casual sex a girl is having, if a man disrespects her and I know about it, he will be relegated to the never category.
So why am I really a unicorn? The truth is, male attention makes me uncomfortable. I’m just as damaged as the girl who sleeps with a different man every night; I just reacted to my trauma differently. When I was a little girl, I witnessed my mother fight off a sexual assault from her partner at the time. Before I knew what sex really even was, my first association was a violent man.
This trauma went dormant in my psyche for a long time because I was too young to process it. Then puberty came. My male counterparts transitioned from boys to men in front of my eyes and our relationships suddenly changed. They started to look at me differently, and they were no longer my friends; they were potential dangers I had to defend myself against.
Now, I’m certainly not a man-hater. I love men. That was part of the problem. The fact I was starting to have this mutual sexual attraction to men made it worse for me. Without being able to articulate my feelings even to myself, I didn’t trust myself to pick the right man, so I picked none of them.
When I was 18, I finally took a chance. He was kind, respectful, generous and handsome. He also opened Pandora’s box because he touched me. After dating for a while, he gently put his hand over my jeans while kissing me.
I cried for days. He thought I’d been molested as a child. Honestly, maybe I was and don’t remember. The night I witnessed my mother’s sexual assault, that same man tried to strangle his father to death. I have no memory of that part of the evening.
The reason I’m getting so personal is to try to illustrate the futility of categorizing good girls as unicorns. We aren’t magical, ethereal beings. We reacted to all of the same horribly negative sh*t that “bad girls” do. But instead of trying desperately to seek men’s approval through sex, we reject them completely.
Praising us as unicorns doesn’t help us get over our issues. It just encourages our unhealthy behavior and makes us feel like we have to live up to some perfect ideal. I went to a gynecologist for the first time recently. It was horrible enough to be naked with your feet in stirrups, but she kept praising me for being a virgin, so much so, it made me start to question my healthy advancement in my views towards my sexuality.
I’m ready now. I will have sex when I find a connection with a man worthy of my respect. As it turns out, those are the real unicorns.
Over the years I’ve come to learn that men are just as damaged as women. They started out sweet and caring, but then someone breaks their hearts. Their parents broke them by telling them they weren’t masculine enough, their first loves broke them by cheating on them. These men then become quick pleasure junkies because a one-night stand can’t break your heart. It’s a never-ending cycle of broken people, creating more broken people.
So men, there’s no such thing as a woman who doesn’t care about anything. If the girl you’re chasing “refuses to give a f*ck,” it’s because she doesn’t give a f*ck about you. If you just want sex, that’s fine. Just don’t complain that all women are manipulative bitches afterwards. Have some respect for yourself to begin with; you deserve more, too.
People attract people that are like themselves. If you are a mess, you will attract a mess. If you are a shallow sex hound, you will attract shallow sex hounds. If you want a unicorn, you need to be a unicorn. Respect yourself and you will be able to find a woman that you can respect.